Jackie and Neal Nesting via HTML

We mistook “Kick-Ass” for an instructional film about the benefits of homeschooling

Posted by Jackie

My boss's wife recently signed their kid up for a martial arts class called "Toddler Ninjas."

TODDLER NINJAS! How fucking cool is that?

When Neal and I heard about this, we got really excited: "You mean if we had kids, we could start training them to be ninjas as young as TWO?! The expected payback period just got a lot shorter. Hmm..."

So, over the past week, we've had an ongoing conversation about what the various realistic minimum ages would be for training kids in the 18 disciplines of Ninjutsu. Obviously, anything requiring physical strength like unarmed combat or melee weapon skills would be limited until they were physically mature. But dexterity-based skills like throwing weapons and explosives could probably be mastered by a puberty-aged kid, right? Even little kids can learn to swim or academic subjects. And the number of times that my brother and I snuck out of the house to get into mischief that our parents -- to this day -- know nothing about is a testament to teenagers' innate aptitude for stealth, escape, and concealment.

What do you think? If you had kids and wanted to train them to be little ninja superheroes, what skills would you teach them and at what ages? Most parenting manuals fail to cover this vital topic.

This time, calculus, YOU will be MY bitch

Posted by Jackie

Readers of my old blog may recall that while I did OK in Calculus I (differential calculus), I went on to flunk Calculus II (integral calculus) in a spectacular blaze of angst and whining, thus ending my career aspirations to become an economics professor. It's been six years but I'm still holding a grudge against the subject. I'm also sick of saying I "used to be" good at math.

Since I was cut back to half-time at work effective June 1 (budget cuts), I decided that this summer would be a good time to launch a sneak attack against my old nemesis. Friends and family thought I was crazy and tried to stage an intervention but I could not be dissuaded -- I registered for the June session of Calculus I and the July session of Calculus II. Over the next ten intensive weeks I will either master differential and integral calculus or implode my brain trying!

The first week of Calculus I has been going well, mostly because I did an awesome job choosing a professor. He received mixed reviews on RateMyProfessors.com, but a few specific student comments sold me on him: "Very conceptual," "He teaches math from an 'intuitive' prospective [sic], basically eliminating the need for any memorization at all," and "he has a deep love of the subject and is willing to help you until you get it." I figured that his teaching style would be a good match for me because I suck at memorization but generally do well whenever I can learn a few key concepts and then derive the rest as needed.

My biggest hurdle will be all the prerequisite material I've forgotten. Over the past five years, my brain has purged itself of everything I learned but haven't used since I finished my undergrad degree. So, big chunks of algebra, most of geometry, and all of trigonometry -- gone. And my professor says that I'd better (re)learn trigonometry by next week or I'm screwed.

Fortunately, I work for engineers. So I semi-jokingly asked one, "Hey, how about you explain trigonometry to me?" ... and then he did, with such enthusiasm that I suspect he felt that it was the MOST FUN THING EVER I've ever asked him to do. (This is the same guy who recently derailed an office beer-drinking party by busting out The World's Hardest Easy Geometry Problem.) I still have a lot left to (re)learn, but in ~20 minutes George was able to take me from bewildered and overwhelmed to having an inkling of the big picture and a plan of what to study next. He even assigned homework(!). Plus, he said that when I get to integral calculus again, "I have some tricks for you." So, between my coworker George and my math nerd friends on Facebook, I have enough impromptu tutoring on call that I'm optimistic about pulling it off this time.

Then again, I'm always optimistic at the beginning of a new semester. So check back in two weeks (midterms on the summer session timeline) for my regularly scheduled nervous breakdown.

On a related note, despite working at an environmental science research institute for almost two years I'm still as scientifically illiterate as I was when I started. Ninety percent of my coworkers' conversations and writing is Jabberwocky to me. It's fucking embarrassing to feel so stupid so much of the time.

So, I'm also taking Environmental Science 101 this month. I had room in my schedule for another class, and as I was browsing various possibilities I noticed that the ENV 101 instructor was rated 4.6/5.0. That's pretty much a "must take."

I'm really glad that I followed this particular whim. I'm finally learning some much-needed context for what everyone around me does all day, and I already have a massive girl-crush on the instructor. She's smart, laid-back, an excellent teacher -- clear, enthused, responsive, and funny -- and she pads around the classroom barefoot with sparkly blue toenails. Today she wore a "I [heart] Nerds" t-shirt. I heart you too, hippy grad student woman.

The best invention ever?

Posted by Neal

This question came up in my management class this week and I quickly answered movable type/printing press for obvious reasons as it increases the ability for everyone to learn from the mistakes of others.  My only issue with this is that the more I think about it, the more I believe that the internet, as it is currently, does the same thing as the printing press did in the 15th century...  I think about the amount of information that was accessible to myself just fifteen years ago and it has been increased EXPONENTIALLY because of the internet.  If the printing press is the greatest invention of all time then I believe that the internet is a VERY close second.  What are your thoughts?  What do you believe are the greatest inventions of all time and why?

What would I give for an iPad? 10 pounds of flesh, apparently.

Posted by Jackie

Me: "I need to get an iPad to use at the gym."

Neal: "You don't even GO to the gym!"

Me: "I would if I had an iPad."

Neal: "Go to the gym regularly for six months and you can get one."

Me: "Define 'regularly.'"

So I am now committed to exercising three times a week for the next six months, a total of 78 workout sessions of reasonable length. We're still negotiating whether completing 78  sessions early still counts.

Starting conditions: Weight in the 135-140 range. (In early April I was 15 pounds heavier!)  Other than a few false starts, I haven't exercised regularly since I was a senior in college. That was 5 years ago and my flabby underarms, drooping butt, mental resilience, and emotional stability haven't fared too well. I feel like crap most of the time and something's gotta change. The ridiculously fit guys in my office swear by exercise as the solution to my ills. So, I'm finally giving their advice a shot.

So, anyone care to bet against me over whether I can do this? You could buy me an iPad to pay your bet when you lose.

I figure I'll shoot for daily exercise so when I flake out sometimes I'll have a buffer to still get my minimum three times/week. We'll see how well this goes...

“Robin Hood” is an exciting yet thoughtful political drama mis-marketed as an action movie

Posted by Jackie

First, a note to everyone calling this a "Tea Party movie": You are projecting modern American political ideologies onto 12th century English society. The nature of the state and its relationship to the individual was different then. This movie is actually about the Magna Carta, which predates the Tea Party (both of them) by several hundred years. As one of the foundational documents of constitutional democracy, the Magna Carta is now generally regarded by both conservatives and liberals as A Good Thing. Plz be having some historical literacy and perspective, kthxbai.

Now that that's out of my system...

I was pleasantly surprised by "Robin Hood." I walked into the theater expecting just another action movie and instead was treated to an exciting political drama that tickled neurons that haven't fired since my undergraduate history and political science classes many years ago.

This "Robin Hood" is actually a prequel to the familiar Robin Hood story, and weaves the legendary characters into real-life historical events. Well, "real" in the Hollywood "based on a true story" sense -- the dramatization muddles the timeline and changes several things. (If, like me, you were left trying to sort out which parts were real and which parts were changed, I recommend reading the Wikipedia article and associated links for a brief refresher of English history.) The historical references and attention to detail in the portrayal of daily life and warfare technology of the period are rewarding for history nerds. Unfortunately, history nerds are a much smaller market demographic than action movie fans.

I think this helps explain why the movie has received so many bad reviews. Previous cinematic portrayals of the Robin Hood legend and the trailers for this movie created expectations that this would be an action movie, and it's just not fast-paced enough to be a good action movie. Although there are some great action scenes, there are also many "slow" parts during which the political intrigue is developed. But if you enjoy political intrigue and discussion of ideological issues, then those parts are interesting too.

So: Recommended, but go with the expectation of a political drama with action scenes.