This time, calculus, YOU will be MY bitch
Readers of my old blog may recall that while I did OK in Calculus I (differential calculus), I went on to flunk Calculus II (integral calculus) in a spectacular blaze of angst and whining, thus ending my career aspirations to become an economics professor. It's been six years but I'm still holding a grudge against the subject. I'm also sick of saying I "used to be" good at math.
Since I was cut back to half-time at work effective June 1 (budget cuts), I decided that this summer would be a good time to launch a sneak attack against my old nemesis. Friends and family thought I was crazy and tried to stage an intervention but I could not be dissuaded -- I registered for the June session of Calculus I and the July session of Calculus II. Over the next ten intensive weeks I will either master differential and integral calculus or implode my brain trying!
The first week of Calculus I has been going well, mostly because I did an awesome job choosing a professor. He received mixed reviews on RateMyProfessors.com, but a few specific student comments sold me on him: "Very conceptual," "He teaches math from an 'intuitive' prospective [sic], basically eliminating the need for any memorization at all," and "he has a deep love of the subject and is willing to help you until you get it." I figured that his teaching style would be a good match for me because I suck at memorization but generally do well whenever I can learn a few key concepts and then derive the rest as needed.
My biggest hurdle will be all the prerequisite material I've forgotten. Over the past five years, my brain has purged itself of everything I learned but haven't used since I finished my undergrad degree. So, big chunks of algebra, most of geometry, and all of trigonometry -- gone. And my professor says that I'd better (re)learn trigonometry by next week or I'm screwed.
Fortunately, I work for engineers. So I semi-jokingly asked one, "Hey, how about you explain trigonometry to me?" ... and then he did, with such enthusiasm that I suspect he felt that it was the MOST FUN THING EVER I've ever asked him to do. (This is the same guy who recently derailed an office beer-drinking party by busting out The World's Hardest Easy Geometry Problem.) I still have a lot left to (re)learn, but in ~20 minutes George was able to take me from bewildered and overwhelmed to having an inkling of the big picture and a plan of what to study next. He even assigned homework(!). Plus, he said that when I get to integral calculus again, "I have some tricks for you." So, between my coworker George and my math nerd friends on Facebook, I have enough impromptu tutoring on call that I'm optimistic about pulling it off this time.
Then again, I'm always optimistic at the beginning of a new semester. So check back in two weeks (midterms on the summer session timeline) for my regularly scheduled nervous breakdown. 
On a related note, despite working at an environmental science research institute for almost two years I'm still as scientifically illiterate as I was when I started. Ninety percent of my coworkers' conversations and writing is Jabberwocky to me. It's fucking embarrassing to feel so stupid so much of the time.
So, I'm also taking Environmental Science 101 this month. I had room in my schedule for another class, and as I was browsing various possibilities I noticed that the ENV 101 instructor was rated 4.6/5.0. That's pretty much a "must take."
I'm really glad that I followed this particular whim. I'm finally learning some much-needed context for what everyone around me does all day, and I already have a massive girl-crush on the instructor. She's smart, laid-back, an excellent teacher -- clear, enthused, responsive, and funny -- and she pads around the classroom barefoot with sparkly blue toenails. Today she wore a "I [heart] Nerds" t-shirt. I heart you too, hippy grad student woman.
June 3rd, 2010 - 22:03
“spectacular blaze of angst and whining”
The neural associations I built back then between blogging and avoiding math homework are so strong that retaking calculus was my final impetus to start blogging again. It just didn’t feel right to be studying math without an audience to laugh at me when I fuck it up.
June 3rd, 2010 - 22:09
I’m not sure how you ever failed this class since you’re the second smartest person I know (including myself). It was an easy class for me in high school and I think you were just distracted or something to have failed. If you miss something at some point I believe you can get behind and possibly do poorly. I think you can do ANYTHING you put your mind to.
June 4th, 2010 - 13:04
It was the quarter I was running for office, so that distraction might have had something to do with it.
June 4th, 2010 - 07:27
I really don’t think it strange at all to retake Calculus. I still have my Calculus textbooks from 45 years ago and from time to time get the urge to just start back in and work thru. Sort of like working crossword puzzles or Sudoku. Saving for retirement. I was sort of like you A, in differential B in Integral and C in the next one, Applications, I think. Only problem was that Math was my second major, (history was my first) so looking back it was sort of silly to major in something that I was not good at. You probably would have done great in Topology. Math gets more conceptual the further you go. Look forward to hearing how you do. Keep up the new blog. Wish I had lost 15 lbs from April to get to 135-140, that’s my goal for the summer.
June 4th, 2010 - 08:52
If you need another source of review/learning material, you might want to check out this guy’s videos:
http://www.khanacademy.org/
there’s a video about how that resource came to exist here:
http://gelconference.com/videos/2010/sal_khan/
June 4th, 2010 - 10:12
It happened to me, I spend a full summer solving a full book on integral calculus. At the end I was better at integrating than deriving
June 4th, 2010 - 10:31
i took my last math class about 23yrs ago (in 3rd year EE) so while my technical math skills have undoubtedly eroded/receded (and i was no hot sh*t at it back then) i reflect that the real benefit from all of that (incl the EE stuff that i never really used outside of the classroom) has been the psychological benefit from beating my head against a wall doing assignments/problems/exams and NOT GIVING UP – the latter aspect is more and more what business needs, moreso than actual math (on a team, there’s always some wizard of math to consult with anyway) – the character strengthening and endurance-focus can come from other things than math/engineering/programming, btw, but the tribal/network/fun from engineering classmates was way better than any other group i could see at the time – so even if your marks disappoint you, be aware that the value is not all on the transcript
June 4th, 2010 - 13:31
I’m on my way to a summer course of remedial math to get me ready for Real College Math in the fall… I am absolutely awful at math, need my toes to count to 12… I have serious awe in this company of people that think algebra is a piece of cake, that can “relearn” trigonometry in 20 minutes, that tackle calculus because they want to!
Please send any stray math love my way!
June 4th, 2010 - 13:43
@Wendy:
I’m sure there are a bazillion people at the TGIF who would enjoy tutoring you. Just flag anything in your book, class notes, and homework that you’re confused by and bring it with you each week. I’ve found that math nerds tend to really love explaining it to people.
If your college has a drop-in math tutoring center (most do), that is the best place to work on your daily homework assignments. That way you can get help right away when you get stuck.
Personally, I’ve found that instructor quality has a huge effect on my ability to learn math, moreso than other subjects. So be sure you look up instructors on http://www.RateMyProfessors.com/ before you register for classes. Don’t just look at the average score, also read the comments to get an idea of the different teaching styles, etc., so that you can find the best match to your learning style.
(Also, note: I didn’t re-learn all of trigonometry in 20 minutes, I just grasped a vague overview of how it fit together and what I needed to study. I still have to spend at least 10-20+ more hours studying on my own before I can hope to have actually re-learned it. But George gave me the “map” that I desperately needed to get me quickly going in the right direction.)
June 4th, 2010 - 14:15
A lot of people have problems with math because they have been brainwashed into thinking that is is hard. The most important thing is to believe that you can do it and then take it very slow, step by step, and do the homework faithfully every day because it is like a foreign language you can’t cram at the end.
June 4th, 2010 - 22:33
What? I love cramming for math tests.
June 5th, 2010 - 07:59
Integral calculus isn’t particularly easy. No shame in having to give it a second try. When I took it, I had to dedicate at least a couple of hours per day outside of class to keep up and really “get” it. But once you learn to do volumes of rotation and calculate the volume of irregular three dimensional shapes, it makes it all worthwhile..