Jackie and Neal Nesting via HTML

The “I don’t know what to choose for u, so I can’t integrate” blues

Music by Reilly & Maloney. Lyrics by my diseased, sleep-deprived, calculus-addled brain.

Well it’s not that I want to live my life not knowing how to integrate
It’s just that sometimes integrals are hard to evaluate
Integration by parts should be a good start, so I’m looking for all the clues
I got the “I don’t know what to choose for u, so I can’t integrate” blues

Don’t think that I’m the studious type, I ain’t one of them girls
How is it, then, that calculus became the center of my world?
Pick u and dv, find du and v, but it gets me sort of all confused
I got the “I don’t know what to choose for u, so I can’t integrate” blues

I don’t have time to eat
I don’t have time to sleep
I spend all night integrating away
Oh, I wish you could explain!

It’s not that I expect it’s easy but I’m unhappy when it takes all night
It’s just that those pesky homework assignments often put up a really big fight
Sometimes I want to take those math brain cells and just drown ‘em with a lot of booze
I got the “I don’t know what to choose for u, so I can’t integrate” blues

Logarithmic?
Inverse? Polynomial?
Exponential?
Trigonometric? Oh, hell!

It’s not that I think that it’s gonna be the last class to ever give me grief
There’s going to be more, I know it for sure, but tonight I need some relief
So just for now could I use Wolfram Alpha and maybe I could manage to lose
The “I don’t know what to choose for u, so I can’t integrate – I just can’t integrate – ooooooo, I can’t integrate” blues

...

This. This is why I take drugs. Once the refrain popped into my head, my brain wouldn't let me sleep, study, work, or do anything else productive until I wrote the rest of the lyrics.

OK brain, we did your thing -- now you're gonna shut up, do your calculus homework, and LIKE IT.

About Jackie

MBA student, Girl Friday for engineers & scientists, and science fiction & fantasy geek.